tomorrow

right about this time tomorrow i'll be stepping on a plane in Dallas, Texas headed towards Tokyo, Japan. i'm not quite sure it's all hit me yet, but i do know that with each moment my anticipation to be there grows. i love love love to travel and asia has been a place that has recently captured my heart. i've never stepped foot on their continent but my heart is burdened and full of compassion for these precious people. as God summons the nations to his throne, he has given his children the privilege of being a part of that harvest. the fact is that there are billions [take a moment to think about that: billions of people] who don't know Jesus. if that thought doesn't break your heart, i'm not sure what will. i pray that i will never lose sight of the gravity of separation from God. if we really believe what the Bible says about Jesus, how can we stay silent anymore? how can we continue to love people when it's convenient for us? how can we not speak of salvation? we were not given the gift of salvation to keep it to ourselves. please know, i am asking myself these same questions. i know that He is fully capable of drawing people to himself without us. but what a privilege we have, to live in a love that is so graciously lavished on us, let us not forget our call to share this great Love. may we be a generation and a people that hear the command to go to the nations and make disciples, and go. and as we go, i pray that we learn what it means to trust and what it means to hear and follow the voice of God. let us be a generation that says "yes". a lot is about to change in the coming year, and i can't think of another way i would rather start 2009 than by experiencing God on the other side of the world; in a place that is so unfamiliar, there is a stirring in the depths of me that is beautifully familiar. i don't think i will ever fully comprehend the love and mercy and grace that has been shown to be by the Father. but in view of His greatness and my great need for him, i am compelled by his love.

2

2 more days in Huntsville. It's very strange right now. I literally only have the things that I'm taking to Japan left with me at my house, everything else has been transported to AU. So the past couple days I've been sporting t-shirts from high school. Today I decided to bust out the "2005 Senior Girls" pink t that has my name printed on the back. I know, reallll cool. But as I prepare for my trip... I've been trying to quiet my mind and allow the Lord to just breathe fresh truth into me. Today I've been constantly thinking about the verse Matthew 10:27 that says [What I tell you in the dark, speak into the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the rooftops.] This verse wells up a desire in me to make His name my proclamation. I have a lot of thoughts that are catalyzed by this verse, but I am still processing. So I am sorry if this seems scattered, or pointless. I pray that this verse is a catalyst for you in some way. May His name be made great in your life today. Let your song be His song. Your words flowing from the truth of who He is in you. He is the source of life.

3

3 things I miss about Auburn today:

• Tuesday night dinner

• Big Blue Bagel
• my precious community

4

4: how many loads of laundry I need to do before I pack. Lots to do. Not lots of time. 4 days till I fly to Tokyo. Wow.

for meg

Fortune cookies are my favorite part of eating at Chinese restaurants. Meg and I happened to eat lunch at P.F. Changs today and afterwards the waiter handed us two fortune cookies. As usual the cookies contained brilliant fortunes.

Meg's said [The simplest answer is to act].

Mine said [Some like it hot. Eat more Kung Pao].

Really.

5

I continue to find God in the thread. A lot has changed this year. In this season of my life, change has been closely followed by brokenness. Being broken sounds so negative. I pray that this thought isn't overwhelmed with a sorrowful tone. This broken feeling that I have come to know over and over again throughout the past year has allowed God to be the mender of me. He gently took the parts of me that had been broken and sewed them back together. With each stitch instilling a deeper knowledge and understanding of who He is. I still don't have an answer to every question or for things that have happened. But as I learn daily to walk in faith and obedience, I am also learning a lot about trust. And I am learning what it means to trust him with all the parts of me. Even the ones that are broken and don't seem to fit. And as I walk in the light of who He is, I begin to see more thread. I look at all the different pieces joining together in ways I never imagined and I see more evidence of Him in this vessel that he has gently mended back together to look more like him.

six

Isaiah 9:6 : "For to us a child is born, to us son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Today is the day that believers celebrate heaven on earth, manifested in Jesus Christ. I heard an interview on the radio with a man who was asked why he celebrated Christmas, his gentle response stunned me because he didn't hesitate for a second, his answer was genuine and natural. He said "As a believer I have to celebrate. It's the beginning of everything I know and love to be life. How could I not celebrate the Savior of the world coming to earth?" Wow. I pray that my mindset will always be centered around the fulfillment of this precious promise from God. In His infinite, unfailing love for his children he sent Jesus to reconcile us back to himself, that we may know his glory. I find myself in awe today as my little brain tries to wrap around the gravity of Christ's life here on earth. He came for you and for me. He is the embodiment of a love that we can't comprehend but we are freely given. Through faith, we have been made pure before the Father. There is no greater feeling than being able to enter the presence of the Creator of the Universe, and simply say thank you for more than words could ever express. Simply, thank you. This precious Father that we serve, he moves hearts towards Himself. He desires for the world to know his glory. It is because he sent his son for us, that we are sent to the nations to tell the good news. [Matthew 28:18-20: Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."] This savior that was promised to us in Isaiah, he has come! And he is alive and well.

[Merry Christmas.]

7

One week from today I'll be on a plane to Tokyo: that is crazy. I decided that before I go I am going to get a new book (or a couple books) to read on the trip there and back. Any suggestions? PS- Merry Christmas Eve ! May you feel the Lord near today. Enjoy time with family.

8

[Michelle,Liezl,Timothy, Lucy, Annie, Gabriel, Nathanial, Arata] These are the names of 8 precious kids I'm helping take care of in Japan. I'm anxious to know each one of their stories of life all across the Pacific Rim. I can only imagine the hilarious stories that these 8 children will tell. I'm so excited to be able to greet 8 different smiles each morning; to look into 8 different sets of eyes and tell them how much God loves them; to hear 8 different questions each hour about what we are doing next; to have the chance to know these children, the opportunity is humbling. I have a feeling that I am going to learn way more from them than they will learn or remember from me. Children have a funny way of doing that. The beauty of children is how simple and genuine they are. They trust and love and forgive so freely. I can't wait to share their stories.

9

"But what do we mean when we talk of God helping us? We mean God putting into us a bit of Himself, so to speak. He lends us a little of His reasoning powers and that is how we think: He puts a little of His love into us and that is how we love one another. When you teach a child writing, you hold its hand while it forms the letters: that is, it forms the letters because you are forming them. We love and reason because God loves and reasons and holds our hand while we do it." C.S. Lewis This is a paragraph from Mere Christianity that I read recently and it beautifully articulates what my life looks like lately. I don't know the answers to a lot of questions right now, but I'm learning. And in my learning I will fail at some point, but the good news is that in my failures there is grace. And in my failures I learn more and more how much I need Him and how He is molding my heart to look more like His. God is gently taking my hand and writing out this beautiful story for me. I pray that I will always find comfort when my palm rests securely in His own. That I recognize the humble surrender it takes to live for the sake of His kingdom, but in that surrender there is freedom and abundant joy.

10

So, I decided to do a countdown of sorts for the ten days before I leave for Tokyo. I really love to travel and one of my favorite things is the airport. I love the whole idea of the airport. When you arrive you are about to start on a whole new journey, perhaps to a place all too familiar or perhaps somewhere new. When you return you are coming back with new perspective and new memories and to people that you love. But the best part about the airport, besides the smell of burnt coffee and the conglomerate of different food, is the people. The airport doesn't discriminate, there are people at every age and from every nationality, each with their own story and journey that collide in this one place for a short amount of time. People in airports fascinate me. One reason is because airports are this space where the whole spectrum of emotions interact on a constant basis. Anticipation can really abide at every step from the parking lot to the runway, it fluctuates differently within each person. Frustration usually lives on the first floor, near the baggage claim and the check in desk. Sadness floats near the departures of the ones we love. Joy meets us at the handing over of a boarding pass or the return to baggage claim after a trip. People don't always follow my nice little thought pattern of our emotional journey through the airport, and that's when airports become really intriguing. I could sit for hours and watch people as they scurry to their terminals, people are fascinating and funny that's for sure. One thing I would love to do someday is set aside a particular amount of money, pack a bag with enough clothes for a week or so, go the airport and figure out how far my savings can take me, buy a ticket and go. I adore being immersed in a new culture, being surrounded by new faces and hearing a new language. Life is an adventure. Be spontaneous.

lanterns

I was driving through Atlanta the other night with my friend Christi and as we began to approach the city this thought came to me that I haven't been able to shake. We were driving from Auburn to Atlanta and on the interstate there aren't any street lights besides the ones on the exit ramps directing cars to gas stations or fast food. So as we got closer to the city there seemed to appear more lighting along the highway. It was late when we arrived and it had been raining that day. The clouds that remained seemed to drift right on top of the skyscrapers with the glow of the city reflecting from them. As we got closer to downtown Atlanta I realized how mesmerizing the city lights were. We had been driving down the dark interstate with only head lights leading our way for so long that the street lights and buildings stacked on top of one another bombarded our vision with their glow. Then I had this vivid image roll through my mind of a small group of people walking in total darkness, carrying lit lanterns by their sides. Then slowly, as they walked by, this city began to come to life behind them. Then after a moment there was this skyline that lit up the night, glowing so brightly. And I turned around to see those same people continuing to walk forward with their lights by their side. As they continued to walk side-by-side, they walked confidently and at a steady pace. Their humble lights still glowing in the dark.

repeat

i'm in cambridge studying for finals [try not to be jealous] . my music is on a little louder than usual in efforts to drown out the ongoing coffee grinder and people taking all around me. in the midst of typing some notes, this song called "Further the Sky" came on [its one of those songs that i could listen to on repeat for a while and not grow tired of it] and caused my mind to calm and reflect for just a moment.

take the time to sit today. take the time to listen, really listen to what's going on around you. listen intently to a friend's heart. listen to the news. listen to good music. listen to your favorite song on repeat.

some of my favorite lines from "Further the Sky":

[When you don't know where you're going and you don't know why.

It feels like another day's beating into the night.

Lay your head on my chest while my beatin’ heart pounds out the secret of this life.]

...more thoughts from finals study time will be coming soon...

playlist for life lately:

Ella Fitzgerald: "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"

Brooke Fraser: "Arithmetic"

Charlie Hall: "Mystery"

Andy Davis: "It Just Happened That Way"

John Mayer: "In Your Atmosphere"

Jack Johnson: "Angel"

Hillsong: "Always"

Matt Nathanson: "Come On Get Higher"

Sara Barielles: "Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay"

Jamie Cullum: "London Skies"

things teachers say...

"Good intentions are not the same as effectiveness."

awe. wonder. the rescue. encounter.

[this picture is provided compliments of bek] last night: december 8th: was the last encounter in america. i walked into the student center with mixed emotions. saddened, obviously by the thought of grace campus ending in auburn next fall. ecstatic, with the thought of how God has called grace campus to HK and the ways he is going to bless the obedience to that calling. but even in the ending of our weekly gathering on thursday, God has already stirred new beginnings. i don't think i can articulate how my heart felt sitting in the student center last night hearing the story of Jesus with a new wonder and awe; but i do know that i left feeling refreshed, feeling God pulling me into His heart and thankful for the great things that he has done. matt shared with us the story of Jesus from his son's storybook bible. matt read portions all the way through and as i listened i was humbled at the simple words telling the story of our rescue. i pray that the story of our God never becomes too familiar and i never cease to be amazed at how he has so perfectly orchestrated his story so that we would know him and have a relationship with him. He is running towards us with love and mercy and grace and freedom and redemption. may we respond with praise. may our lives reflect the love and grace that we have been shown. may we be overwhelmed by His goodness. may His name never been far from our lips. we are the children of His great rescue. we are the children He sent his humble son for. we are the children of grace, given unmerited favor and love because of our faith in Jesus. i am anxious to see all the ways God continues to begin beautiful new works in his children. thank you grace campus family for loving me out of the overflow of the Father. my life has been changed because of your presence here. last encounter in america: next encounter in HK

yes

may this be the response of our lives to the love we have so graciously encountered. ["Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your truth, we eagerly await for you, for your name and your renown are the desires of our souls."] .isaiah 26:8

significantly insignificant

I am significant because the Creator of the universe loves me. His spirit dwells in me because I am His child. I am set apart. Because of the cross, I appear before him pure and righteous. I am significant, not because of any of my own efforts, but because I live in the light of God's vision and his unconditional abounding love. I am insignificant in the fact that I am very, very, very small in the grand scheme of this place we call the Earth-even smaller in the grand scheme of the universe which my Creator imagined and breathed into existence. I stand at a height of 5'6", He is in the height of the heavens and lowest of depths [psalm 139:8].

The way of the world teaches us to put ourselves first, to focus on ourselves and I think that in our humanity we get caught in the lie sometimes that it's about us. It's not. When we fall into that thought, we begin to put ourselves first and suddenly life is revolving around our circumstances. The Way is exactly the opposite. We are called to be humble people. [Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3]. God guides the humble and teaches them his way. That's a promise in Psalm 25. That's truth that I want to cling to and live in. My heavenly Father is stirring vision and life in me that is way bigger than me. It's bigger than all my efforts, it's bigger than all my love, it's bigger than my wildest dreams, it's bigger and it's His. He is in control. His spirit dwells in this small heart of mine, and at the same time He is calling out stars one by one. I serve a big God. He is strong. He is mighty. He is power. He is justice. He is peace. God loves his children, and I can't help but be humbled at how great is love is for me when my life is but a moment in the span of eternity. And in the end it's not about me. It's all about Him. He is eternity's song.

blue bird

"bless her heart..."

I'm quite positive that's what about 15 people were thinking as I tried to walk through a door in Lowder today... It was windy & cold when I left my apartment this morning so I was bundled up with my green scarf (as high up as I could get it around my neck before it began to cover my face), my long winter jacket buttoned up, and my collar popped in an attempt to keep myself warm. I made my way to Big Blue for a guaranteed delicious breakfast. Finished my great bagel, filled up my coffee cup, got bundled up again and plugged my earphones in to finish a podcast I had started listening to during breakfast. You know those times when it is windy outside and you don't mind the wind because it's nice and calm? Well that's how I felt leaving Big Blue, I was enjoying the wind, I actually found myself being thankful for the wind and the way it helped to wake me up on my walk to Lowder. You know those times when it is windy outside and you don't even really want to be outside because you find yourself walking straight into the wind and you cant really take deep breaths because the wind steals them away with it's bitter chill? Well that's how I felt about 10 seconds after I started to be thankful for the wind. So my pace quickened and I pulled the door open, only to find myself pulled back and doubled over because the cord for my earphones had caught on the lock of the door. Well of course in my graceful fashion I let out a loud "hey-o" into the quiet hallway which was met with people turning to laugh and other people looking at me with the "bless her heart" look- you know the one. The story gets better no worries. There was a girl walking behind me towards the door and I'm choosing to believe that she didn't see me pulled back or doubled over because she would not have chosen to do what she did. I'm guessing that she thought I was not strong enough to open the door, so in her servant spirit, (let me remind you my earphone is still laced up between the locks on the door- halfway still plugged in my ear) she pulls the door all the way open which pulls me into her. Needless to say, at this point I am fully embarrassed. We both start laughing, joining in to the laughter and "bless her heart" looks already happening in the hallway. I finally get my earphone cord untangled and proceed to my first class. Welcome back from the break. Hope you had a great Monday.