psalm 36:5-9

Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;

your judgements are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O Lord.

How precious is your steadfast love O God!

The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house,

and you give them drink from the river of your delights.

For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light do we see light.

[precious: cherished: characterized by feeling or showing fond affection; a treasured heirloom]

public declaration

Yesterday morning I had an amazing breakfast with Mary Reading at Big Blue Bagel. Mary is one my favorite people in the world, her heart for the nations is something too beautiful to articulate, I know that the Lord is going to use her in incredible ways all around the world. I am so blessed to have the friends that I do! I love being able to sit and truly connect with someone, to talk about the tough things in life and laugh about life all in the same conversation. There was a breath of fresh air breathed into me after my conversation with Mary. God is amazing [well duh], but particularly in this circumstance, because He speaks to His children through His children: that's marvelous. After she left for work, I had a little time before class so I cleared off our table to read. As I cleared the table I began to notice all the things that had been carved into the table. I'm guessing that they have been there for a long time, but yesterday was the first time that I really paid any attention to them. They ranged from Greek letters, names, hearts and dates. I'm not sure what thought process happens that compels people to carve things into the tables of public restaurants, but I can't help but think they are emotions or feelings that run deep in them. All these names and dates symbolized something to someone, it was a way of publically declaring their heart. Whether carving those feelings into a table in a public restuarant was the best way to express them, that's arguable, but the fact is that they did. I paused for a moment before I began to read and thought:

what is my life declaring? who/what is my life publically declaring love for?

anonymous

This weekend was absolutely wonderful for so many reasons. But on Friday afternoon God showed me His faithfulness again in a very specific beautiful way. Christi had picked me up from class and we headed back to Hannah's house. When we got there Hannah handed me a blank envelope and said "this is for you". I was so confused, literally had NO clue what this envelope contained. So of course my mind is going a million miles an hour opening it, as I looked for any sign or hint as to where it came from. Inside there was no note, no card, nothing but slightly more than the exact amount of money I needed to meet the first Japan deadline for support. I slowly sat down in her over sized chair, completely blown away by how detailed and loving our God is. I don't know where the money came from, Hannah would only say that it was an anonymous gift for my trip, but I do know that God moves among His people and I'm ever grateful. If you were a part of the anonymous envelope delivery, thank you. thank you. thank you. The body of Christ is beautiful. I'm still amazed. I just hope that I never cease to be amazed at how He perfectly weaves my life together. God is faithful. God loves us unconditionally and so undeservedly. Thank you again for taking this journey with me.

so i've been really excited about japan this week.

for those of you reading this that have been praying

and that have helped me financially- thank you a million

times over. it's been great to watch how He truly does

provide.

i was reading the news this morning and decided to look

up tokyo on google maps. this is one of the first images that

came up:

i'm pumped.

closer

the past few days have been a whirlwind of activity and emotions.

this morning i got to take my sweet friend biscuet to the airport as he begins his journey to beijing for the next year or so. i feel like sometimes we play these games with our mind when people leave. it's like we pretend for so long that they aren't leaving. i have known for 3 weeks that i was going to be dropping him off this morning, but i felt incredibly overwhelmed this morning driving into the airport parking lot. there is no moment or experience in saying goodbye that prepares you for the next goodbye or makes it any easier. don't get me wrong, i'm thrilled that biscuet is going to beijing. God is moving in amazing ways over there. and i'm so glad to be able to call him friend and be able to hear about his experiences there. it's just another realization that life is ever-changing. and in less than a year i could potentially be anywhere around the world, living and loving people for the sake of the cross. this morning i felt like i should be saying something profound and encouraging to biscuet before he boarded the plane. but as i drove through the tangle of concrete in atlanta all my words left me.

after saying goodbye, as sat in my car i was so humbled and aware of how beautiful God's story is.

how big and marvelous and wonderful and powerful His vision over us is.

we get to be a part of that.

He is infinitely aware of our tears and of our laughter.

closer than my every breath and the beating of my heart.

sunday thoughts

understanding that i am frail & fallen does not justify me living and walking as though i am, because that is not my identity any longer- for i am a reflection of the Savior, a representation of grace.

grace

every friday this semester i have the chance to go visit morningside assisted living for a couple hours. this started out as a school assignment, but God is quickly reminding me that He walks with me and that He is evident in every detail of my day. today when i got to morningside the director asked me to go visit with two specific ladies. one was named grace. i walked back to grace's room and i found her door wide open, a ruffled quilt, a 'large print' book flipped over, but no sign of grace. as i was walking towards grace's room i passed a lady pushing a walker, just enjoying the day. well, when grace was no where to be found i decided i was going to do laps around morningside with this sweet lady and her walker. i approached her and asked if i could just walk with her, she agreed. so as we began to walk we introduced ourselves and guess who it was : mrs. grace. after our introduction the first question she asked was "would you like to see what God blessed me with today?" i said yes, and she stopped, stood up a little straighter and gently tapped the handle bars of her walker. with the biggest grin on her face, she said

[i had forgotten that i needed a new walker,

but God remembered and He brought it to me today]

i know getting a new walker may seem small and maybe even silly for you to think about. but grace reminded me of some simple truths today. He is in each intricate detail of humanity: from poverty to a nursing home. that it is God alone who gives and that our hearts should ever be in a state of gratitude.

i know that i have gone through too many days without appreciating the small things that he does for me.

He alone knows our need, and he does not forget. He is a God that gives and provides, not because i/we deserve it, but because His love is greater.

i was just encouraged today to be thankful for the basic things.

watch for all the "walkers" in your day. He knows your need. He doesn't forget.

imagination

But as it is written,

"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,

nor the heart of man imagined,

what God has prepared for those who love him."

.1 Corinthians 2:9. [Isaiah 64:4]

Last night I was talking with a friend about the future, as we were talking he referred to the comfort and encouragement of this verse. How precious and unthinkable is the truth that resides in those words. Sometimes I can get really overwhelmed thinking of what my near future looks like. In May I will be moving somewhere to intern, then in August I will graduate from Auburn. It's very surreal to even think about that, much less type it out as a reality.

I can dream big, think of endless possible geographic locations I could be, think of people I could meet and places I could be serving, stir up new ideas but because He desires the best for His children- He dreams and plans bigger. I love that, based on the truth in that verse, my heart can't even imagine the things He is preparing me for. Not only for post graduation, but for today, for tomorrow, for Japan... I'm thrilled.

What is He preparing you for?

How is He evident in the stillness and in the busiest of days?

How is He using your interactions to shine light into your world?

Where is He in your day?

clouds

isaiah 45:8

"You heavens above, rain down righetousness;

let the clouds shower it down.

Let the earth open up wide, let salvation spring up,

let righteousness grow with it;

I, the Lord, I have created it. "

hannah and i have attempted to watch the sunrise twice this semester and both times we have been greeted by this view: clouds. did we check the weather you ask ? why yes, we did.

this morning we sat in our spot and just laughed at the clouds and did the next best thing we knew to do at 6:25 in the morning- we drove to starbucks :)

my morning with hannah was great. she is a priceless friend, an absolute treasure that i hope you have the chance to know someday.

but when she dropped me off i came up my stairs and decided to look up places in the word that clouds were significant. this verse in isaiah really just spoke to my heart. for so many reasons, but this morning specifically because i desire to see salvation spring up across a campus and a generation that is walking in darkness. i love this illustration of righteousness from the Lord raining down on us. if this is why the clouds are here this morning, i will welcome them with a joyful heart.

abrogating

abrogating: to abolish by authoritative action; annul; to treat as nonexistent

when directly translated from the greek, the word 'destroyed', as used in 2 timothy 1:10,

is the word abrogating.

i challenge you to read through this verse and ask God to reveal to you the magnitude of the cross.

run to her

i love to watch people as i walk across campus. confession: sometimes i plug in my earphones and turn my iPod on shuffle and walk as though the song playing was the soundtrack to a movie and just observe people in the context of that song. [i know i'm a dork, if you weren't already aware, here's your evidence] today however i didn't have my iPod plugged in and i was just watching people interact as i walked from lowder to the library. there was nothing out of the ordinary until i began to cross in front of mary martin hall. there was a boy walking in front of me with big headphones on, backpack filled to the brim, then out of no where he started running! my initial thought was that he was running to catch the tiger transit, but as my eyes searched the street for a nearing bus i couldn't find one. i've seen many people running across campus [not exercising] and i always get uncomfortable thinking about why they are so desperate to get to class. they usually run with their eyes towards the pavement and have no sense of anyone else around them. but today, this boy was different. his eyes were locked straight ahead, he was on a mission. i found myself smiling still trying to figure out what he was doing. was he in a race with himself? was he about to start a fight [highly unlikely but you never know, people are crazy]?, what the mess was he running towards?! then the answer came: he was running to her. i don't know who she is, but this boy loves her. my heart melted and i just watched this girl's face light up as this boy embraced her and kissed her cheek. he put his arm around her and led her towards samford hall- he looked so content. no wonder he was unaware that anyone was watching, he was running to his love. his eyes were locked on her. he was so excited to see her that his long legs couldn't walk fast enough so he ran. he RAN to her. i've been reading a book called Redeeming Love, if you haven't read this book i highly suggest that you do! it's long [400+ pages] but it's worth the read. the book is based off the old testament book of hosea. the running thread throughout the book is that this husband constantly, unconditionally, intentionally, lovingly pursues and loves his wife. my mind can't help but think of the man that i will hopefully marry one day and what his pursuit of me will look like; but more importantly that the Lord does this with me every single day. He loves me unconditionally. He runs towards me with mercy and peace and joy and clarity. He runs towards me with the truth that He is my identity, that I can not be separated from His love by anything. He is running towards the nations of this world with a banner of His love. Rest in that. He loves you. He runs towards you.

thursday

tonight encounter took on a new shape. periodically throughout the year we are going to be meeting separately at different locations in auburn. the different groups are all meeting under the same mindset that whatever we do whether in word or deed- do it all in the name of Jesus [colossians 3:17]. the groups were separated by different aspects of grace campus : prayer, service, vocational ministry, missions/international students, reading the word, and community. tonight i went to the meeting about serving our community in auburn. i have to say that it was incredibly encouraging. whenever a group of believers gather for the purpose of God being glorified it excites my heart more than i can articulate. as i sat and listened to all the amazing things that are happening in auburn, i began to look around the room and just dream over the people that i was gathered with. He has equipped us all with different gifts and passions and He is going to orchestrate something beautiful through this ministry. i feel it. our group was led by jason orme. i have just recently had the chance to get to know jason and his heart is incredible. as he spoke to the group gathered in his living room, it was evident in his words and his eyes that the Lord has placed great vision and wisdom upon him to be a leader in our community of believers. i'm really excited about being able to know a new group of faces from my encounter family. i'm amazed again at the wonderful people i have the privilege to call friends.

bed time

i'm going to sleep before 10:00. i dont' remember the last time this happened. i'm excited about some good sleep. goodnight :)

prints.seals.envelopes.addresses.lots of coffee.no sleep: well worth it

first stop: support letters. i had a really neat vision for them & what i pictured in my brain actually transferred to my fingertips thanks to some help from great friends. i have been so restless and unable to sleep from excitement about what these letters mean to me. this is the first tangible sign that the process has begun! next stop: passport photos- if you have ever seen my passport you will understand the necessity. this is what the front of most of my letters look like. [i ran out of red paper about 3/4 of the way through the process, so the last 1/4 are matted on black card stock] the back is sealed with a simple dot of red wax and an orthodox cross stamped into it. God grants beautiful creativity. hopefully this will be one of the last sleepless nights for a little while. thank you for taking this journey with me.

simple truths

as i was reading through exodus 4 this afternoon the Lord revealed some simple truths... v.1: I need Him to help my unbelief. My security must be found in the heart of who He is. v.2-9: Whatever is in my hands, God can/will use for His glory- for the disbelief of a world who does not know Him. He is not delayed or bound by my circumstances or my flesh- Praise God! He alone is the giver of understanding and miracles. I must live in the truth of who He is. v.10: The Lord is fully aware of my shortcomings- He knows them before He places vision upon me and before I am even aware of them. v.11 & 12: "Then the Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak." v.13: Even in knowledge and comfort of the Father- I let fear overwhelm me and potentially miss an opportunity to be used by Him. v.14-17: The Lord is not hindered by my fear. He doesn't need me, YET He chooses to let me be a part of His renown throughout the world.

"it's like being a red square in a blue world"

This summer one of my students was explaining to a group of us how he felt really different at school [more specifically talking about different christians should look to the world]. After searching for eloquent words to explain his situation, and being unable to describe his feelings, his eyes lit up and he said,

["it's like being a red square in a blue world"]

His simple phrase has stuck with me since then. I think it is a great example of how dramatically different we are called to live. That our purpose is to love God and to love people, and to a world that is so consumed with self, when we choose to live as we are called to- we look dramatically different. As I was talking to a group of high school girls tonight, we talked about what it looks like to be "red squares" in the world we live in. There was a moment when one of my older students embraced the vision I was trying to share with them- it was beautiful. These moments are priceless to me. Not because I have brought some great enlightenment, but because He who is greater than my vision, greater than my words, He brings understanding and I had the privilege of being there when they began to understand truth. It's a beautiful experience.

a classical guitar and an empty milk carton

i'm sure that these two things in the same sentence make absolutely no sense to anyone else but today both are sweet/funny reminders of my dad to me. he came to visit and take care of me this past weekend. but this morning as i was trying to decide what to eat for breakfast i opened the refrigerator and laughed out loud when i found an empty milk carton sitting in front of a full one. my dad had fixed his coffee right before he left and out of habit i guess placed it back in the frig. people do funny things, and i thought this one needed to be shared.

[daddy if you're reading this-know i love you & i hope you're laughing at this too]

almost four years ago i was talking to my dad about how one of my life goals was to learn how to play the guitar- not with the intention of pursuing a music career, but to be able to sit in my room and just play. my dad revealed to me that he still had his classical guitar from high school that i could have and learn to play on if i wanted to. of course i gladly accepted his offer! well last night my guitar [i'm going to have a name for it soon] FINALLY got new strings thanks to my friend zach benson. it took us about an hour and a half to restring and tune the thing, but he was really patient and explained every step to me. i hope that you find reminders of Love and people that you love around you often. whether it's a place, a picture, a smell, a breeze, a smile, a sunset or a song.

hold up, wait a minute

it's amazing to me sometimes how busy we make ourselves. i love every minute that i get to be with my friends and be out doing things. a lot of wonderful conversations happened today, sometimes i just have to remind myself to slow down and not try to do everything on my to-do list in one day. it's nearly impossible. i love having the freedom and flexibility of my schedule to do all of those things- but it's crucial to stop and enjoy the day. and to rest. more thoughts on my ever-evolving life soon.