'cliche title about a new beginning'

today i met the emotional part of leaving the loveliest village on the plains. lately i have felt like my heart is about as sympathetic as a piece of charcoal. when everything seems like it should be sentimental and good-byes no longer mean for a few days, it has all felt familiar and routine. i suppose i'm used to leaving every may for the summer, but at the end of good-byes i have found myself disconnected. that was until this morning, in the most unlikely of places: the library. i have spent more time there this year than all of my other years of college combined. mainly because i found one place near a large row of windows, in a green chair, with no cell phone service, that i can sit and read and just escape. but this morning as i was sitting in the library studying for a final, well trying to at least. in the midst of being less than excited about studying, i started to realize that i am going to miss auburn. i think that i've hit that moment where i know its my time to leave. i feel really fortunate to leave when i am. i think it's a healthy place to be, knowing it's time, and going. there is no lingering and wondering, just a full, satiated heart. i have loved my time here. the Lord has used auburn so instrumentally in my life. i am most certainly leaving more convinced than ever that the gospel is worth giving my life for and excited that in a few short months i get to move to hong kong. i will gladly turn in my last scantron and leave a seat empty for the next freshman to come in. but as friends begin to pack up their belongings and i begin to to do the same, the realization that my time in auburn is over has started to sink in. the reality of it all is made more concrete with each conversation about hong kong and the amount of times i've said "last" in the past week. college really has been wonderful. and like most things in life, i feel as though ill appreciate it more in retrospect. so here's to the next adventure. it's like writing on the first page of a new journal, lovely.

committed

my cell phone buzzed during class, indicating that i had received an email. as i opened my account i saw that a dear friend had sent me a link to an article from the ny times. the note attached to her email simply said, "read this. i'm balling right now. wow." using deductive reasoning, i decided this was either an article about social justice or love. i took time in between my morning classes to read the article, and if you have a few minutes today, i would suggest you do the same. without giving too much information away, it's an account of love from a husband's perspective. his commitment to his wife and the way he describes his love for her is incredible. i would love to be married one day. to love someone and raise a family for the glory of the one great Love. and each day, i hope to be as committed and in love as this couple. through thick and thin. through bliss and tragedy. through stability and spontaneity. this story is a great tangible example of that.

[click here to read article]

soundtrack to life lately

• "You're Beautiful" : Phil Whickham
• "Reverie" : Brooke Fraser
• "Pick Up The Tempo" : Phosphroescent
• "Everyday I Have The Blues" : B.B. King
• "The Beach" : Andy Davis
• "Steer" : Missy Higgins
• "I'm Yours" : Jason Mraz
• "Lift High" : Fee
• "Coffee House Blues" : Lightnin' Hopkins
• "When It Don't Come Easy" : Patty Griffin

if you have any new musical discoveries/suggestions, feel free to send them my way.

things teachers say...

[post hoc, ergo propter hoc: "it happened after, therefore it was caused by"]

this phrase was used in one of my classes today in reference to a type of logical fallacy. it's context was a discussion about how susceptible our nation is to different treatments. my teacher continued on to describe this concept is one that not only acts as an influencer to our medical choices, but also as a basis for general thought processing. his explanation triggered a realization that this way of thinking is such a deceiving, yet appealing, concept for so many people. we would be foolish and self centered to think that this fallacy has just emerged or that we have discovered some hidden reasoning that plagues the human mind. i think that this concept can definitely be used as a deception. but it also could be used in an incredibly powerful way for good. simply put, the application of this phrase is relative to the perception. but as this phrase rolled around in my head i remembered in ezekiel 36 when God said that he would replace isreal's heart of stone with a heart of flesh. the repercussions of such grace can yield nothing short of a life that echoes the glory of God. in this case, post hoc, egor prompter hoc is right on. if any good comes from my life, if any compassion, if any love, it is most certainly caused by the Almighty.

please dont stare

mr. man sitting at the computer across from me in the library: i came to the library to try to be productive between classes. but my productivity has been distracted by your volume level which is disturbing. i find it hard to believe that you are studying or working on a project, or perhaps i just have never seen the course "drinking and fishing" on the course list when i was signing up for class on blackboard. the subject which so nicely accompanies your volume, seems to also be distracting your friend next to you who is obviously trying to work. i'm not sure if you have noticed but the rest of the students around are typing and writing at a relatively low, nearly silent, volume. also, i'm not sure if you are trying to obviously stare at every girl that walks by you, but your violent head turning is noticeable. perhaps that technique works for you, if so, please dismiss my observation. on the other hand, if it hasn't been working out so well, please don't stare. it's weird. thanks and have a wonderful day. -the distracted student across the computer circle

disclaimer

tennis shoes with jeans isn't always a bad choice. i just never sport this look. perhaps it's just my entire ensemble that made the shoes a funny choice. perhaps i should stop blogging on next-to-no-sleep.

you decide.

I wore my tennis shoes with jeans. Does that make me a nerd or shall we just chalk it up to exhaustion and one bad fashion choice?

twelve stones

The people came up out of the Jordan on the tenth day of the first month, and they encamped at Gilgal on the east border of Jericho. And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal. And he said to the people of Israel, "When your children ask their fathers in times to come, 'What do these stones mean?' then you shall let your children know,'Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.' For the LORD your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red Sea,which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the LORD is mighty, that you may fear the LORD your God forever." .Joshua 4:19-24

The book of Joshua has been intertwined in a lot of what I have learned this past year. As this portion of scripture rotates through my mind, it has challenged me to think about how I remember the Lord's faithfulness in my life. Every thought yields nothing short of love covered in grace. In light of the cross, the only thing I can do is surrender my life to the one true God who has reconciled me back to himself. The cross is overwhelming. The empty tomb is life-giving. And the truth that comes from a Risen Savior is worth giving my life for. From the details of my heart, to the Jordan River- God's desire was, and is, for the world to know His sovereignty. It is easy to intentionally think back and remember His mighty hand on Easter Sunday. But what about everyday? After an entire nation walked between a parted river at flood stage, on dry ground, the Lord called them to remember. So do I really need reminding? Absolutely. And I am left with the question: what will my twelve stones look like?

class

People do funny things in class.

Today was no exception.

toomers + papers + lindsey= hilarious

Last night I went with my lovely friend Lindsey to Toomer's to work on a couple papers that we both have been assigned. We stayed at Toomer's for almost 4 hours and actually got a lot accomplished despite my tendency to stop working and just observe the people sitting around us. As the night progressed, more and more characters took a seat around us. Some people were obviously frequent coffee house visitors. Evidence of this was expressed in their appropriate volume levels and demeanor upon entry. But there were more than a few moments when Lindsey and I felt as though we had bombarded the space of a large group of friends hanging out who strategically set-up their computer and notebook to give the illusion of studying. You might have an inclination that I am exaggerating trying to make this post sound amusing. False. Here is a little taste of Toomer's Coffee around 7:45 pm last night... I'm going to need you to imagine this scene.

I am sitting in a large study chair drinking a vanilla chai, working on the initial steps of a research paper. Lindsey is being extremely productive and typing part one of her paper within minutes of starting. A young gentleman seated diagonally from us has his computer set-up, complete with one ear phone plugged in, his arm draped around the back of his chair, talking to his neighbor at a not-so-coffee-house-like volume about swimming with manatees. Then the best move occurred: he noticed a girl that he knew sitting in the back study area of Toomer's. The front and back sections are separated by a half wall composed of small window panes. One's natural reaction would be to stand up, quietly walk over and say hello. Right? Not in this case. He tears a piece of paper out of his notebook, wads it up, and tosses it over the half wall, hitting his friend in the back. This show of athletic ability was followed by a fist pump and a mumbled pronunciation of "SCORE" as he looked around to make sure everyone who wasn't distracted by his volume was now distracted by his paper wad throwing fiasco. After this display, his neighbor give an accelerated laugh as he greets the next 4 people he knows that walk through the door. I think I heard him say "Well, I really need to get back to studying" about 15 times in the course of my time there. Meanwhile, the guy studying with his friend in the front is strategically picking his nose when his friend looks down to study her book. I am still seated in my large study chair, amazed at the scene around me and wondering if I'm the only one who can't help but observe all these interactions.

This craziness most certainly doesn't yield an environment conducive to paper-writing. But no worries, my good friend Lindsey kept me on track in between our constant text conversation about all that was happening around us. I have only had the chance to know Lindsey well this semester, and I grow more thankful for her every time I'm around her. She is absolutely hilarious and refreshingly honest. I can assure you that I would have not been nearly as productive without her there last night to ask me if I was working on my paper or still looking at J.Crew online. Sometimes I can focus really well, but in light of my recent revelation that I only have 17 days of class left, my motivation to type my paper was stolen by paper-wad-throwers and cute sweaters.

auburn | hong kong

Lately my heart and my head have been in two different cities. Auburn: this precious little town that has given me all the room to grow and learn and experience college & Hong Kong: this city full of lights and world influencers that will be my home in just a few months. Each day I arrive at my designated classroom, sit in the same seat that I sat in the first day of class, begin to take notes, somehow drift into a doodling session writing the words "hong kong" or "grace campus" with swirls or sharp lines surrounding it, then I reality beckons my mind back to class discussion. My heart has just been in a constant battle between making the most out of my time left here and preparing for what is to come. I still have about a month left to be in a classroom, then an internship, then Hong Kong. It's funny to me how connected I feel to a place and a people that I have never experienced first hand. I definitely want to finish my time at Auburn well. I want to be exactly where I am. I want to enjoy these last moments here, but I can't wait for what is to come. Each day I'm trusting the Lord to guide my thoughts. Wrapping around surrender is a beautifully freeing thing.