twenty two.

confession: i have a really hard time embracing birthdays. not because there is an additional candle on my cake, but because i feel incredibly selfish. i know people celebrate in a varitey of different ways. if given the choice, i honestly think some people would have a friend with a megaphone announce their entrance into every room they entered or walk around with a giant blinking arrow atop their head that says- "i was born today." then there are people on the other end of the birthday spectrum who would much rather hang out the shadows than step into the spotlight of attention on their birthdays. and it's a peculiar thing i suppose, i love other people's birthdays. i mean who doesn't enjoy a day when you get to find a gift/card that reminds someone you care about that they are loved, and to top it all off, desserts are mandatory. you live another year, you get to eat cake. lovely. but when it i started to think about celebrating my birthday, nothing but tension and uneasiness rose up in me. why? great question. but i think the answer lies in my initial hesitation of feeling selfish. well this past thursday i turned twenty two. honestly, it was one of my favorite birthdays. i think a big part of my day was allowing myself to receive love and encouragement from people who care about me and not seeing that reception of love as selfish. i didn't have any plans except for a hong kong team meeting later in the evening. i woke up that morning to see rain pouring down sideways outside my window, but my spirit was quickly lifted by a multigrain bagel at big blue with great friends. between classes i headed to the office to help fold envelopes for our support letters. as i sat and folded and glued black card stock into envelopes, i got to sit in on a conversation that was challenging and encouraging.[matt and jason: thank you for speaking truth into one another, for questioning how and why, for letting me sit and listen, and at the end of it all wrapping back around one purpose: to bring God glory.] after leaving the office, hannah picked me up with a little surprise named christi in the back seat. later that night our hong kong team came together to finish the envelopes and talk through some updates. i am still humbled by that team each time we meet. God is most certainly stirring and preparing us for what He is already doing in hong kong. it's going to be amazing. all that to say... friends and family: thank you for making me feel so loved. thank you for a sprinkle fight, surprise desserts and fun at cedarcrest, conversations over black berry jam pie and a brownie, and precious cards in the mail. sorry for the birthday soap box.