noah's here!

The newest addition to the Littlepage family has arrived! He is the cutest and sweetest little guy. Incredibly thrilled for these dear friends. No doubt they are going to be wonderful parents.

redefine

After taking enough time to let silence be a comfortable companion this morning, I was able to think and pray over the last year. All that it's meant, all that it will mean and all that is changing in me because of it. Recent years have been full with a theme of restoration in my life. Isaiah 61 followed me across continents and through so many seasons, meaning a million beautiful things along the way. This morning the Lord was so kind to speak straight to my heart and show me that after restoring much, he is redefining much. He has rebuilt places long devastated and is teaching me what it means to be truly alive in those places, knowing more of him & becoming more like Christ in the process. That means that my old self has to die. Harsh language? It's that critical. It's that important. It is that new. It's new life. Ah, let your soul sit with that for a moment. My heart just turns over on itself in the thought that God is not through with me yet. Some days I feel like such a mess. You know those deep moments that you walk out of full just to find the world looks different. And that is just the thing, the places that are so hard to walk into and through, they shape us. Our experience with the world can't, and shouldn't, be the same. I admit that it's frustrating to me at first. I'm more frustrated with myself than anything, wrestling with this feeling that I can't make sense of it all. But with much grace and love the Father walks me a couple more steps to see that he's teaching me how to live. Each day here is another part of him redefining my understanding so that I know love in the deepest parts of me. He is teaching me what it means to trust, to love and to forgive. All over again. Restoring and redefining.

things along that way that are O.K. & not O.K.

things that are O.K.:

• Listening to the blues and overcast skies. They just belong together.
• Smiling with your teeth. Half smiles (no teeth involved) feel just, half-y.
• The collision of every walk of life that happens on public transportation.
• Noah will be here so soon.
• Ice cream surprises.
• True community. Recognizing more everyday how blessed I am by the people I get to call friends.

things that are not O.K.:

• Jeans in July in Hong Kong. I confess I have rationalized jeans while indoors in air-conditioning which proves to be faulty logic almost every time. You would think that the rain season here would wash away some of the humidity and allow everyone to enjoy walking under the intense-you-are-keenly-aware-that-you-are-closer-to-the-equator-summer sun. But no, here it decides to add another dose of thickness to the air which then likens walking to swimming. This can start to be confusing because you know that you just took a step outside the apartment and not a leap for a cannonball into the pool. In the same thought, I would never go swimming in jeans, so why would I wear them in July in Hong Kong? The answer perhaps is simple wishful thinking.
• The rant I just went on about jeans in HK. Thank you for reading if your eyes have made it this far.

trust

Trust is this theme that the Lord will not relent on threading through my life. Trust is not merely recognizing an opportunity to surrender, it's an all encompassing recognition that God is changing my heart & mind to believe and act in the truth that He is good.

preposterous

So I sat down to read the other morning and realized that one of the short stack of books on my bed side table held a similar characteristic between it's pages, a bookmark. I know it doesn't seem so preposterous that my books are sandwiching bookmarks, isn't that where bookmarks belong? Inside books? Obviously. The preposterous thing is that my bookmarks seem to find residence about 3/4 of the way through and then the binding of a new book is bent back and my interest drifts towards the beginnings of a new book. I think the creative part of me really enjoys new things, new ideas, new experiences and new starts. It's the beauty of creativity I suppose. But I want to be someone who can appreciate something new and enjoy it all the more as it becomes familiar and known. I want to soak in the richness that comes with depth and time. So I'm starting with my books, going back to the one that has been neglected for far too long and moving my little bookmark till it no longer belongs within those pages. Here's to learning something new each day, even in the things that are familiar.