joy that challenges me

this is my friend abby. she is going to be a senior in high school next year, she is an incredible soccer player, and she is one of the most joyful people i've ever known. i met abby this summer when her friend rachel brought her to an event we had with HaU. a little over a month ago abby came to m-fuge with us and on that trip, she came know Jesus in a personal way. i will remember the night she surrendered to the gospel for the rest of my life. i was walking down the hallway of the dorms where we stayed in nashville and from the end of the hallway [about 50 feet away] i could see abby grinning from ear to ear. she was about 10 feet from me when she said "guess what?", without giving me time to even take a breath and with all the volume she could gather, she yelled "I love God!". i think that she woke up everyone that could hear the sound of her voice, but her joy and excitement were not going to be silenced that night. she had come to know true forgiveness, grace, and love; and she just couldn't contain it.

today i got to sit at panera bread with abby and just talk through what life has been like for her this summer and what she is looking forward to this year. as i sat on the other side of the booth i was humbled by the burden she has for friends to know the freedom she lives in and challenged by the undeniable joy she has in relying on the Lord more everyday. she shared with me how nervous and excited she is to live her last year of high school differently. i can't wait to see how God uses abby to change the girls on her soccer team and the people that sit behind her in math class. one thing is certain, He has big things in store for this precious girl.

ready

i am longing for a place i have never been.

i am waiting on timing that is not based on my understanding.

i am surrendered to whatever this adventure my hold.

i am so excited.

i am so ready.

i am convinced that He is more than enough for me.

in the works

reason # 812 why i love my internship:

painting is on my list of projects.

upholder

Behold, God is my helper;

the Lord is the upholder of my life.

.Psalm 54:4

upholder:

Pronunciation: \(ˌ)əp-ˈhōld\

1 a: to give support to b: to support against an opponent

2 a: to keep elevated b: to lift up

box # 203

have you ever been looking for a certain hoodie?

and after you have looked high and low, and in the dirty clothes basket, and in the drawer with your pajamas, and through your closet again, you realize that the hoodie you're searching so diligently for is in box # 203 in a container headed to hong kong.

if so, i can totally relate. happened to me this morning.

verse 2

tonight i get to walk through ecclesiastes 3:1-11 with my high school girls. as i was reading through the lesson trying to fill in the gaps and make sure all my thoughts and questions flowed nicely, i decided to treat the lesson as though i was participating in it, not teaching it.

in the lesson i ask the girls to identify themselves with a "time" mentioned in verses 2-8. each pair of antonyms reveals the truth that in this life on earth, we face adversity. but as you continue to read each verse breathes this gentle reminder of a time of restoration. verses two - eight seem so up & down, yet memories begin to flood back of different lessons that have been learned throughout life's unpredictable terrain. isn't it peculiar how quick we are to forget the times we've walked from mourning to laughter or torn down only to build up again? then verse eleven brings it all to together and says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time..." wow. i love how this verse comes after all the different 'times' mentioned.

as i was thinking through my summer i came to the conclusion that i find myself most in verse 2. there are definitely other verses that are applicable to my heart and what i have walked through this summer, but verse two seems to be a nice umbrella covering of every aspect. whatever 'time' or season your life may be in, be comforted that God has purpose and vision for this season and that it will be made beautiful in its time.

jehovah-jireh

For those of you praying alongside me as I prepare to go to Hong Kong, I hope that these definitions will refocus your perspective as it did mine this afternoon. Yes, I have a responsibility with support and I am learning new things everyday through the process; but, at the end of the day, The Lord is my provider. So as we draw near to Him and ask for financial support for my time there, remember that He is faithful to provide for what He has called us to do. And as He provides financially, He is also providing our hearts with understanding and grace in each moment so that we may be lights in this darkness. I also want to thank you because Jehovah-Jireh has provided me with incredible brothers & sisters in Christ who believe in His Sovereignty to encourage me along the way with laughter and prayers. Thank you for partnering with me, I'm so excited to share this journey with you.

"JEHOVAH: LORD in our English Bibles (all capitals). Yahweh is the covenant name of God. Occurs 6823 times in the Old Testament. First use Gen. 2:4 (Jehovah Elohim). From the verb "to be", havah, similar to chavah (to live), "The Self-Existent One," "I AM WHO I AM" or 'I WILL BE WHO I WILL BE" as revealed to Moses at the burning bush, Ex.3.

JEHOVAH-JIREH: "The Lord will Provide." Gen. 22:14. From "jireh" ("to see" or "to provide," or to "foresee" as a prophet.)"

for cat

my dear friend cat and i have talked for a couple months about cutting our hair before we leave for the hk. i know it may seem silly, but any girl reading this will understand this debate. considering hong kong is on the same latitude as havana, cuba the humidity and temperature are not going to get any cooler. most days, my hair ends up in a bun on top of my head because it feels like i have a mop attached to my head in the lovely southern summer sun. all that today, yesterday mrs. catherine dared me to cut my hair before we left for hong kong and i took her up on it.

boxes

monday afternoon found me on I-65 headed down an all-too-familiar route to auburn. i have taken this trip numerous times over the past four years, but this trip was different. this time my car wasn't full of groceries my wonderful parents bought me or a weekend bag of clothes from a visit at home, this time i had four cardboard boxes ready to be shipped to hong kong. it was/is crazy to think that the next time i open those boxes i'll be in hong kong serving alongside some of the most incredible people i've ever known. i am confident that God has great things in store for the people of Hong Kong, and I pray that He would do more than we could possibly ask or imagine in the hearts of people there.

tuesday night most of the team, family and friends had dinner together at conerstone to connect and pray with one another. one of my favorite parts of the night was when matt took time to share the heartbeat of grace campus. it was in those moments that the Lord drew my heart deep into His own all over again and reminded me of His desire to see the nations return to His throne. it's totally bizarre apart from the gospel to have a burden for people that you've never seen much less interacted with, but my heart is breaking for hong kong. i can not wait to be there. i can not wait to be a part of God's story in that city. i can not wait to see how He grows and connects our team as we serve alongside one another. i can not wait to experience the joy He will bring as Chinese students come to know His perfect love. whatever challenge or circumstance we meet along the way, i have faith that God is making us more like Jesus as we turn to Him for comfort and rest and peace.

wednesday morning our team met at the dean's with our boxes. after boxes and furniture had been numbered from 1 to 230. we [let's be honest. "we" translates into "the guys". p.s. thank you for working so hard wednesday, y'all did a great job] lined up the boxes in a duct tape layout of the crate and got everything ready to be packed. wednesday by 4, our boxes began the journey to hk. we're one step closer and more excited everyday.

i can't wait to open those boxes.

"treasures"

saturday morning a dear friend, Melba, organized a rummage sale to help raise some funds for hong kong. as we unloaded donations into the youth building on friday night she continued to refer to everything as little 'treasures'. she put so much effort into making sure all the details were covered and picked up donations from her friends. as we were setting everything up i just hoped and prayed that the Lord would honor her efforts and that he would surprise us with donations and sales.

mary catherine and i got to the church around 6:20 to eat some breakfast and open the doors at 7. as we were eating we kept seeing cars driving through the parking lot, slowing down, looking at us, then circling back around. by 6:30 there were 5 cars already in the parking lot waiting to come inside. needless to say, the serious garage sale bargainers were out and about bright and early. i had some hilarious conversations with people that came through and even witnessed an argument over a flower arrangement- these women don't play. sometimes i wonder if garage salers bargain with everyone they encounter. can't you just picture them finishing their adventures and going to breakfast and bargaining for their breakfast? i think there should be a documentary about a day in the life of a professional garage saler. it would be fascinating to say the least. at noon we made our last sale, closed the doors and started to clean everything up. i had the chance to share about grace campus with a few people that came through and as i sat and counted the money from the sale i was reminded of a verse in matthew that talks about storing up treasure in heaven. the Lord gently reminded me that in the midst of selling an assortment of people's earthly "treasures" that he was preparing me to go share heavenly treasure with people half way around the world. at the end of it all, the Lord blessed me with over $750 from the sale that will go as a one time gift towards my move. it was so neat to see how he's still piecing everything together a little bit at a time.

the picture below is the result of little sleep and my brilliant sister's solution for me raising support.

august 10th

exactly one month from today i'll be an auburn graduate.

i'm more excited about that alum status everyday.

tunesie tuesdays

lyrics that may, or may not, be repeating through my speakers this morning:

"Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know,

It's more than I can handle. But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones and I cannot let it go. And when I'm weary and overwrought with so many battles left unfought: I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard, I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars. And when the Saints go marching in, I want to be one of them. Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind, it often overwhelms me but when I think of all who've gone before and lived the faithful life their courage compels me. And when I'm weary and overwrought with so many battles left unfought: I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard, I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars. I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharoh's court, I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord. And when the Saints go marching in I want to be one of them. I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad. I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul. I see the young missionary and the angry spear. I see his family returning with no trace of fear. I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights. I see the sisters standing by the dying man's side. I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor. I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door. I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road. I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load. and when the Saints go marching in I want to be one of them."

"When the Saints": Sara Groves

little reality checks along the way...

yesterday i had to say my first good-bye that wasn't follow by the phrase "oh, i'll see you before you leave." this good-bye was a real "i don't know when the next time i'll see you again will be" good-bye. these aren't getting any easier lately. i know i will see people again. i dont want to sound dramatic like i'm saying good-bye forever. but there is a reality to moving across the world, and slowly i'm meeting that face to face. i'm definitely still so excited and convinced that hong kong is exactly where i'm supposed to be for the next season of my life. i'm just really going to miss these people.

investing without strings

i was in a conversation a few days ago in which we were talking about loving others. the conversation rotated around a specific situation that reflected a greater representation to me about our intentions in relationships. as i began to think through all the intricate parts of our heart that we expose when we invest in one another, i continued to come back to the simplicity of investing without strings attached. throughout our lives we form relationships on all different kinds of levels. as relationships form, investments of time, energy, tears, laughter, love and hard ache all begin to embed themselves in the casing of our heart. it becomes almost natural to attach ourselves to the person or circumstance that we have invested in. but there is a danger when those investments that we have made all begin to pull at the same time. i fear that we will find ourselves broken and worn down in efforts to keep strings attached. if this is so, it is inevitable that our heart will be weighted down by thread. i most certainly believe that people and circumstances have an affect on our daily lives. we need one another. we learn and grow from our interactions with one another. but, when we try to find life in people and things and places, we are going to come up empty. for people and things and places are not perfect, they will fail us. we will fail one another. but praise be to God that there is life given to us through His son, Jesus. what a blissful thought, life everlasting found in the creator. i desperately want that life to always be what brings life to this heart of mine. i cherish the people in my life that God has blessed me with. i can see His fingerprints all over the circumstances of my life. which gives me a whole new perspective on investing into the lives of others, because i don't want it to be about the weight of what i did or said. i don't want to invest with ulterior motives. i want to invest with a pure heart. i pray that we will be a people who invest in the lives of others only to point them back to the source of life, not to attach another thread.